Many people believe that healing is a linear process. They believe that healing looks like a steady movement upward and forward. When someone doesn’t follow this trajectory they assume that they are moving backwards. This can lead to a lot of anxiety and shame. I’m here to tell you that there may be another model of healing, one from which I work and witness often: healing is a spiral process.
One does not need to go far to see spirals all around, especially in nature. From fiddlehead ferns, to sea shells, to pine cones – spirals show up in many different forms. Not only is their magic accounted for in mathematics (search Fibonacci sequence), but they have been used by ancient societies ranging from the Celts to the Maori. We could also travel lightyears out and find spirals in the form of galaxies.
As we humans are also a part of nature, it makes sense that we, too, experience the unfoldings of this sacred form in our healing process.
Years ago, my mentor had explained to me that after any point in our lives (let’s call it point A) we move on, grow and change. We feel further from that initial experience. Yet, along the way, we find ourselves hitting a turning point (point B) where we start to feel we are going backwards or in circles. He pointed out that we may fear that we are returning to the place we were before and may feel disappointed. However, it almost always is “a little bit different” (or a lot). Change is the only constant. We can never really return to the same exact place we were before. (And here we arrive at point C.)
Just witnessing this simple yet profound process was incredibly normalizing and validating for me. My clients found it helpful, too! However, I realized that that wasn’t the end of the story. I noticed that from that new point, we continue to grow and change. Now, this open circle moves into a spiral that extends both inward and outward, simultaneously. I realized that healing is a spiral process.
One of the best examples of this I can give is when we look at the seasons. When seasons change (especially into fall) I often get a deep, visceral nostalgia. I can feel like I am going through the same thing I went through the year(s) before, as though I didn’t learn a thing. This has felt disheartening. However, after observing these patterns from this spiralic perspective of healing, I realized that it usually is (at least) a little bit different. This time around, I might have a different outlook, maybe changed my support system, or reacted differently.
From this perspective, that healing is a spiral, we can allow ourselves the grace to make mistakes and not have to have it all figured out. These “mistakes” will all come in handy. We can trust that the process will change us and we will come out differently. We can hold gratitude for similar spaces (such as seasons, places or relationships), where we get another chance to apply what we have learned. In this way, we are healing ourselves backwards, as well as forwards. We are making meaning out of what we have struggled with, and growing along the way.
If you’re interested in exploring this healing process, schedule a consultation with me.
Blessings,
Kat
